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Toolz Shares deep Secrets that have never been told about Losing Her Father and First Pregnancy on #WithChude

Toolz Shares deep Secrets that have never been told about Losing Her Father and First Pregnancy on #WithChude

Jul 19, 2023

This wednesday, it’s one of my favourite people in the world, Toolz!

We’ve been trying to schedule this conversation since 2018! And it was well worth the wait.

We go deep. We talk about losing her child in a harrowing experience that she calls a mental and spiritual makeover. We talk about losing her dad, who she was very close to. The journey from those dark places to now and her two beautiful sons.

She shares this story, she tells me about some of the experiences she’s never shared with anyone about those circumstances that changed her life.

Here is how she feels about losing her child and father!

“After losing my first pregnancy, not long after that I lost my dad. It was and perhaps is still the most traumatic thing that has ever happened and I remember I had like one or two out-of-body experiences because I could not believe I was going through this. I literally could not believe this was happening to me.

I still think back and I don’t even know how I got through it. My spirituality was extremely important during that period.

I don’t always like talking about it. I just remember going through it and feeling lost. Incredibly lost and I used to be online all the time looking for women that had similar experiences.

Toolz sits #WithChude
Toolz sits #WithChude

A lot of women go through it but they don’t usually talk about it. My mom went through it but she doesn’t like talking about it, she rarely talks about it.

I just remembered going online, looking for information, trying to find somebody that had gone through the exact same thing; What happened? How did they continue? How did they get back to normal? And I didn’t find a lot.

I found a few but I didn’t find a lot of Nigerian women that talked about it.

So, when I think about that I know that somebody is gonna be watching that is going through something like that. I think it’s so important for me to just say ‘Look, it’s not your fault it’s not always in our control but you will get through it’.

“I mean look at me, I got two boys now.”

Toolz sits #WithChude
Tolu Oniru ‘Toolz’

What I learnt from this interview!

Toolz reminded me about one of the most powerful spiritual practices – ‘surrender.’ She said once the doctor gave her the bad news she decided to reach a place of acceptance.

Once you’ve surrendered to the moment and you say ‘look, I’ve done everything I can do and the rest of it I can do nothing about. So, the best thing I can do is accept it and flow with it like water, then peace comes into your spirit.

It was the acceptance of the inevitable that allowed peace to come flooding into her.


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A post shared by Chude Jideonwo (@chudeity)

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