“What I decided to do differently with my kids is to communicate how I feel with them. We grew up in homes where it’s odd for parents to apologize, or for them to show vulnerability. It’s hard for them to admit they made mistakes or show love by saying ‘I love’. That’s primarily what I tried to do, especially with my first son because when you study psychology you get to know the Oedipus complex. Fathers and first sons are always at logger heads because the mom literally becomes the first son’s love. Fathers don’t know that the jealousy starts to grow from there. The reverse of it is the Electra complex, first daughters and their fathers get close in a way that mothers really don’t like.
I try to break those barriers and basically communicate with my kids. I want them to be able to express themselves. So, I can yell, and they will still say what they have to say and when they say it and I realize I made a mistake, I apologize immediately. Sometimes, I yell and don’t listen to what they have to say and hang up. But my wife comes around and tells me it wasn’t nice how you spoke to them. I reached out later and apologized so that I don’t alienate them.
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