“My mother caught my father molesting me, but she couldn’t say anything” – Toyin Falaiye

At that time, I told my best friend about the abuse, and she advised that I should inform my mother about it. I couldn’t tell mummy because she didn’t have a child for this man – So he would send us both away. 

We grew up in a home with a strong patriarchal structure. It was more like a military zone where Daddy was Lord and Master. Nobody had an opinion whenever Daddy speaks. We were raised to be subservient, so nobody, including his wife, had a voice. Mummy was battling emotional abuse in the marriage, eventually leading to her death. We were oppressed and our voices were silenced.

When I was 17, I told Daddy that I was going to cut him with a knife or kill myself. He exclaimed and asked who I’d been talking to – I said I had been reading books and I learnt that what he was doing to me was incest and it is bad. He promised to stop coming and he didn’t make any attempt for three weeks. The night when he was caught red-handed by his wife, I was fast asleep. Mummy said she wanted to check the time because she needed to do a midnight prayer. I guess God just wanted it all to end that day. She saw her husband on top of me and then retreated because she was too shocked at the sight. When her husband asked her what she saw, she said, “Nothing”.

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