“At age sixteen I was raped by my uncle, and I got pregnant.” — Toyin Lawani

Hmmm… I left home at age sixteen because I got admission into the University of Lagos. I never told anyone the story before and I don’t think I want to say it now. LOL, I don’t think I’ve ever told my husband the story as well.  

So, when I was sixteen I got raped by someone in my neighbourhood. It was one of my uncles and I couldn’t tell my mum about it. It was really bad for me. You know when someone bullies you to the extent that you can’t talk? It was so bad.

I open up to one of my aunts who is late now, Aunty Bola. She took me to Ibadan and they tried to get rid of the pregnancy. The pregnancy was about 5 months at that time. It took a long to know because I didn’t tell anyone about the rape. The pregnancy had already formed like a baby when they brought it out of me so got so sick. My mum started pressuring me to come back from my grandma’s place so that I can resume school on time. I didn’t know how to break the news to her, so I went to school from there. 

While processing my admission, I fainted on the school premises. My mum was in Hong Kong at that time and I was rushed to the hospital. When my mum came back, the doctor open up to her that her daughter had an abortion. She couldn’t take the news. It was really hard on her because I was so young. 

I didn’t tell her all these things that happened because the person was so close to family. That is why I’m strict with my children. I don’t trust anyone with them because either your brother or sister can betray you. I felt I lost my innocence to someone that was in the same house as us. 

I hated my mum so much for everything that happened because I felt she wasn’t there. Now, I understand her better when I have to provide and be there for my kids. I understand why she had to leave us and travel for a while. It actually traumatized me.

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