“I’ve always had this voice in my head who tells me I’m not good enough” — Toyin Falaiye

“That morning of February 4, 2018, when the voice in my head said to me, ‘you know you don’t have to live right’ and I said ‘yes’ and he said ‘go inside your bathroom and pick up a sniper and take it.’

“Yes! I have the strategy, I just needed the ‘go ahead’. I’ve always had this voice in my head who tells me I’m not good enough, I can’t be anything good, who tells me I can’t amount to anything, and this voice is helping me to kill myself.

“ I just went into my bathroom at 1am on the 4th of February, 2018, picked up sniper, and then my husband said, ‘put on that light’. So I hid the sniper underneath my night dress and ran into the other room. The mistake I made was that I banged the door and so he ran after me hearing the bang of the door and there we were, struggling with sniper.

“Fortunately and unfortunately I had opened it, so while we were struggling, a little had spilled on my hands so while he was able to wriggle the bottle out of my hands, the one that had spilled – I was sobbing, I was weeping, I was wailing, you know those tear jerking kind of tears – and I didn’t know I was inhaling the ones that had spilled on my hands. So the next thing I could see was my husband jacking me and saying ‘Did you take it, have you taken it?’. I was just hearing the voice and I just….so miraculously, because he was available to salvage the situation with palm oil and honey and all of that, I was just hearing ‘I love you’ very faintly.” – Toyin Falaiye.

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