“I was in a violent relationship, we had one fight and I never picked his calls again.”—Moet Abebe
Chude: People say that what happens is that when you’re in a violent relationship and you love the person, you keep making excuses for the person. One of my ex-team member will tell me if you know you’re a strong woman, then you can’t believe this is happening to you. Then you begin to gaslight yourself.
Moet: Yep it is that and also low self esteem. If you don’t love yourself, you’d find yourself in situations like that constantly, all the time. Different ways. Whether it’s in a work place, even in your family. If you don’t love yourself, your family can do you like this. You have to love yourself in every sort of relationship.
Chude: And I feel that violent people can smell it..
Moet: Yeah they can smell that you’re weak. Let me not use the word ‘weak’ cause you’re not weak. They can smell you’re vulnerable and have low self esteem. Abusive people can smell that thing from a mile away.
Chude: So how did you come out of it?
Moet: I’m that kind of person that…..it’s crazy, not that I say anybody should do this but I’m literally that kind of person that I don’t necessarily like people telling me what to do. I like to experience it and then leave the situation. It wasn’t even a thing that someone had to come and drag me. I needed to sort of realize that, no more…this cannot be you loving yourself. Like you being here means that you don’t want the best for yourself and that was it. We just had one fight and I never picked his phone call again.
Chude: You never picked his phone call again, I love it a lot. When you get that realization, there’s no nagging, no drama, you just decide for yourself and you take actions.
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